DJ Reviews Disney's Decendants

(Disclaimer: I am doing this as a REVIEW. As in I own nothing on here from images to clips to any music. I am either using it to show off what I mean, using it for comedy of some kind, or something along those lines. I hope this clears anything up in the future)

Hello everyone, this is Shadow-DJ, or Dejay if you want to be more simple, looking into the first official review for my new review style, In this one, I am looking into the world of Disney Channel's actually decent film:

(owned by Disney)

In this movie we find out from a female narrator that after Belle married her husband, The Beast-seriously Disney, you STILL don't give us his real name?-we find out that they brought back to life all the past Disney Villia-wait, what?

 (Clip from Hasbro's My Little Pony Friendship is Magic)

Uh...who is crazy enough to suggest this? I know that you're putting them on an island where they don't have powers anymore-no really, this is their solution-but this is incredibly risky! That's like if Gotham City just put all the bad guys in one place and-

Uh...nevermind.
(owned by DC Comics and Rocksteady Studios)

Anyway, we find out that Belle and Beast's son, Ben...I guess just Ben, is being prepped for becoming king when he becomes 18...even though he's still in high school.

This little Disney Cash in played by Mitchell Hope
(image from Disney Channel)

Yeah...this is where things get confusing; you see, this isn't a midevial world like you'd think...this is a world where we have magic..but it's replaced by stuff like smartphones and what not. Why? What-what is the point of this? Just so kids don't feel out of place? People, it's a FANTASY setting. I would be okay with maybe 1920s-era tech since you got Cruella in this movie, but that's about it! This is going a tad far in my opinion.

Ugh...Millennial stuff...and that's saying a lot coming from a guy born in the mid-90s.

ANYWAY, back on track, our ever optimistic pretty boy wants to do something that gets a rise out of his old man; he wants to invite four kids from the Isles of the Lost-basically the prison they put the villains and their future children in-and let them go through a rehab of sorts to let them join his kingdom.

AND with that, we get into the first song:

 (clip is from the film on Youtube)

In this song we're introduced to our main cast: Mal, the grafiti artist daughter of Maleficient.

You see all the purple? You KNOW she's Evil!
(image from Disney)

Whoops, wrong picture!
(image from Fox's X-Men Days of Future Past)

Next is Jay, the street rat son of Jafar...who I am STILL not convinced isn't the actual son of Aladdin and just stolen at birth by him. (seriously, there is a lot more in common with him.)

There we go. This is Booboo Stewart (No...really, that's his name.)

Then we got Evie, the daughter of Queen Grimhilde, who is a heart breaker of the isle. She is played by Sofia Carson.

No I don't know why she has blue hair either.

And finally Carlos de Vil (The only kid with a last name it seems), played by Cameron Boyce, is a kid compared to the others and is kind of...well, a wimpy wiz kid.

Does anyone in this cast have normal hair?!

Anyway, they're called up by their parents; Maleficient, played by Kristen Chenowith; The Evil Queen, played by Hocus Pocus' own Kathy Nijami; Jafar, played by the only actual Islamic actor to play him Maz Jobrani; and Cruella de Vil, played by Wendy Raquel Robinson.

Only picture I could find of them together.

Anyway, Maleficient is a very fun character and is enjoyable to watch in all of her wickedness. The other three aren't as memorable, but still fun. The plan is this; they want them to get into the school and capture the Fairy Godmother's wand to break through the barrier.

Easy-peasy, right? Well, there is a slight hiccup in this plan now that they go to the new school; they kind of have a LOT of distrust when they arrive.They first meet Ben and the Godmother, who's a lot younger than in the original (likely a spell o her part) and Princess Audrey, Aurora and Phillip's daughter.

Wow, I'm as unimpressed as ever.

Zachary Gibson as Doug

Okay, I'm saying this now; the "heroic" kids are mostly a bunch of jerks. Seriously, they're a bunch of entitled brats all except for like 3; Ben, Lonnie (Mulan and Shang's daughter) and Doug (Dopey's half-Dwarf kid)

Diane Done as Lonnie

The worst of them all is Chad 'Charming', Cinderella's kid. Or as I like to call him "Chad Termaine" since he acts more like his step family a a whole as he is a massive jerk to everyone around him.

Jedidiah Goodacre as Chad Jerkface-I mean Charming

Anyway, throughout the film they do silly stuff like a 'Goodness course' (Which is really rigged so that anyone who's not a rock can understand 'basic' good and evil), sports and wand stealing which involves becoming friends with Jane, the Fair Godmother's daughter.. As well as Mal brainwashing Ben for about a day or two before they start to really fall for each other. As per usual Disney fashion.

...No seriously, think abuot it: it takes like, what, a day or so for a couple to fall in love in the early Disney movies? It's kinda amazing how fast it is. Fairy tales for you, am-i-right?

As for the other songs so far...not really a lot to talk about. They aren't as memorable as the first song. "Evil Like Me" Feels like a song from Wicked, "Did I Mention" is a silly take-that to love ballads from Disney films, and "Be our Guest" is just a hip-hop version of a classic song. And there is "Set It Off", which is really good in of itself.

In all, this movie is an okay film if you're into these sort of Disney Channel films. So final score: 3.5/5

Next time is a Top 15 list :P I hope you all enjoyed this new review and sorry for the long wait!